So Close, Yet So Far Away

Today while leaving history class, I was fortunate enough to have to walk down the stairs (I don’t do that lazy elevator shit) behind – you guessed it – the guy in my history™. Four flights of stairs. Right behind him. He was walking a little slow compared to my normal class-is-out-oh-my-god-we-have-to-evacuate-this-building-immediately pace, but I wanted a good look at him. I’ve been in front of him going down the stairs several times before so it was time for me to have my turn. And no, I didn’t trip and fall down the stairs because I was staring at him the whole time. Just thinking about that happening makes me sick with embarrassment though.

At the bottom of the stairs, we parted ways. He went one direction. I went the other. I should have turned around and chased him down. Told him how big of a crush I had on me. Asked him if he wanted to go out some time. My luck, he would look at me all strange and inform me that he’s straight and that I can go fuck a tree limb.

But, the best part of the whole stairs incident is what happened just as we were going through the doors to the staircase. I got to throw him a good smile… though I wouldn’t have if something else hadn’t happened just before he looked back at me (I’m not quick enough to have flashed him a smile and don’t have a fake smile plastered on my face all the time like some people). There are two doors that led into the staircase. Just as we were walking through one of the doors, a girl was at the other one hoping to lean against the door with her back to get it to open. Well, the door was closed all the way so it wasn’t going to move unless you actually turned the door knob. So there she was, pushing against the door to no avail. I guess it’s one of those “you had to be there” moments. It was enough to get a small laugh and a smile out of me though. At the same time, the guy in my history class looked around at me to hold the door open for me (cause that’s how we roll down here in the South). So he sort of accidentally got smiled at… though there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that. In fact, I’m glad it happened. Maybe that’s what needed to happen for something else to happen later on down the road. Hmm.

Okay so maybe the guy in my history class is starting to consume my life… a little. I hate crushes especially when it’s me that has one. I feel like I’m back in high school saying and doing all this shit. Hopefully though, it will all work out good in the end (see: me and the guy in my history class hooking up – if we ever do get anything going I’ll have to tell him about all this and let him read it then start calling him that all the time, just for the record I do actually know his name).