Can’t Take It

I can’t take it much longer. It’s killing me. I’ve got to let it out and not keep it bottled up inside forever.

Hey, I haven’t had one of these in a while – give me a break!

I’m denying who I really am. I’m prohibiting myself from being myself. It all gets really confusing and almost overwhelming at times. It’s driving me up the walls and affecting my school work (that could just be my ADDness kicking in though). It’s getting to the point where I can’t it keep in any longer. There have even been times in crowded places where I get a sudden and very strong urge to yell at the top of my lungs “I’M GAY!!!”. Of course, I never go through with it. It’s there nonetheless. I just wish I knew how my parents would react. Telling them and having them be okay with it would take a huge burden off my shoulders. Everything points to their reaction being less than favorable, but the optimist in me wants to believe it will all go smoothly. They have surprised me in the past with their reactions to things, so I don’t know how it would all go down. My gut tells me it wouldn’t be good though.

But, the day is coming… and coming fast. I just hope I’m ready when it gets here.