Midterms! Midterms!! MIDTERMS!!!

Phew!!!

I finally got through all of my tough mid-terms!! And I couldn’t be happier to have them behind me! For the last two days I’ve been studying and stressing over these tests… oh and bitching about them to anyone unfortunate enough to be within earshot of me. I had my ass whipped into form after getting my chemistry midterm back – 77%! I screwed up by thinking I knew the shit and not studying enough for it. It’s not all that bad, but I can’t let it happen again – I’ve got scholarships I’ve got to maintain. So I studied my ass off for the midterms I took today!

I have horrible study habits. I’ve never been one to study much anyway… it usually just clicks with me at some point and I don’t need to study. When I do study though, I get to a point where I can’t any longer and that’s usually a sign that I’m ready. And oh I was ready for those bad boys today! I think I kicked ass on them!! I’ve got one more tomorrow but it should be quick and easy then I’m done with all of it – everything – until the 26th!! Yep, spring break baby!!! And ain’t I just lucky… guess what falls within the confines of spring break!! =)

So what will I be doing during spring break? Not much. I’ve told a few friends I’d help them move into their new house, so I’ll help if they need me… or I may just barge up there anyway to check out their new place. Today, T hinted to me about going to see 300 sometime this weekend or next week. She just broke up with her boyfriend… she made sure I knew that! Honey, don’t be getting any ideas! I could play boyfriend for awhile if she wants to appear resilient but I hope she doesn’t expect anything else. The most exciting thing I may do is go to the dealership where I bought my car for them to check out and fix a few things and have them treat me like a clueless fucking idiot. I always enjoy that!!

And with classes out next week, I may finally have time to do some real boy hunting! I’ve already thought up a few excuses for going out with someone, being out really late or staying overnight at a guy’s house. They may not work when the time comes, but I’ll at least have given it a fighting chance. If all else fails, the truth would just have to come out, but that’s assuming something actually happens first… if I can get over my fears.

Now for a few updates:

My cousin – no clue… haven’t talked to him or heard anything. I’m a bad cousin, aren’t I? I’ve been busy though.

My brother – he brought his boyfriend down to show off to my mom. I didn’t get to see him… my brother thinks I might steal him away, that’s it!! Well, I don’t think they’re actually dating – I no longer even think my brother is gay – but it’s fun to play like they are! And who knows, they may actually be dating… if so, you go gurl!! I’ve seen pictures and he is cute! Good catch! And if my bro doesn’t want him, I’ll take him!!

The weather – spring is here already as is that wonderful layer of yellow that coats everything outside. The wind blows and it looks like a dust storm, a yellow dust storm, a puffy-eyes, runny-nose, yellow dust storm… it’s not good. But I noticed this week that the campus is coming back to life after hibernating all winter. It feels more refreshing and upbeat to walk around campus now that all the flowers are popping back out. And it won’t be long before the crepe myrtles will be blooming again.

-- -- -- -- --

And last (but most definitely not least) if you haven't heard already, our beloved Spider has been admitted to the hospital. Please go check out the details on his blog and wish him well while you're there. Spider, I'm wishing ya the best!!

It's Late

And I should know the night I want to go to bed early, I can't sleep. I'm bored. Tired. A little bitchy. Sounds like the normal me! Ok, maybe not... well just scratch the tired and then it'll fit! But check this out...

You Have a Phlegmatic Temperament

Mild mannered and laid back, you take life at a slow pace. You are very consistent - both in emotions and actions. You tend to absorb set backs easily. You are cool and collected. It is difficult to offend you. You can remain composed and unemotional. You are a great friend and lover. You don't demand much of others. While you are quiet, you have a subtle wit that your friends know well. At your worst, you are lazy and unwilling to work at anything. You often get stuck in a rut, without aspirations or dreams. You can get too dependent on others, setting yourself up for abandonment.

What Temperment Are You?

These things are so good! Like 95% of the time, they're right. Creepy. But hey, they're enough to entertain me at 2am so I'm cool with it!

As for other things, it's raining outside... or at least it was. We're supposed to have rain all night and into the early parts of tomorrow... I mean today (whatever!). That's good... my car needed to be washed! Too bad it can't clean out the inside, too! My lazy ass'll have to get out there and do that. It's not very bad though, mainly on the driver's side... don't have anybody to ever ride on the passenger side (or to put the rear seats to good use). I will someday though! Yes, I will! =)

Just looking at my checkbook, I actually have over $550 in there! And that's after buying all of my books! Wow... can you say shopping spree? I sure as hell know I can! I need to buy some new clothes, a few books (thanks Lewis!), an MP3 player, and maybe some random crap I really don't need but wouldn't mind having. That'll put a dent in my checking account! I've got to have some self-control though.

Reading back over some of my past posts, I realized I never told ya'll what happened with the friends I was thinking about coming out to. In short, we set up a time... one had to work... the whole thing was called off. Probably a good thing.

Well, I guess that's all for now. Eyes aren't wanting to stay open. I'll get back in bed and see if I can go to sleep. Later!

Cold Weather

What is it about cold weather that’s so relaxing?

The crackling wood fire? The steaming cups of hot chocolate? The snuggling under the covers?

Ever since I’ve been young, I’ve loved cold weather. The colder, the better! But living in Louisiana, it never gets extremely cold. That’s probably a good thing though considering the one or two times a year the roads ice over people here freak out! Nobody seems to have the common sense to slow down and take it easy when it’s icy. We can all dodge the standing water on our pot hole-ridden roads, but ice confuses the hell out of us! Damn it’s all over the road – what do we do? Floor it!!

Enough with crazy Louisiana drivers (I include myself in that too!), I was a child fascinated by the cold. “Wow! It’s not hot out here!” Ok I wasn’t that stupid, but I always wanted to play out in the cold (I would love to say the snow but in my lifetime, it’s snowed maybe three times). My mom, of course, didn’t want me to go out and play. I remember one Christmas when I was maybe five or six I ran outside in 20-something degree weather in only my tighty-whiteys to see the icicles that had formed on the roof of our house! Who cared what Santa brought me, I wanted to see some icicles!! And when I was about nine, I had the chicken pox. I was out of school for a few days and my mom almost had to tie me up inside just to keep me from running out the door to play in the cold! I only itched a little bit – no reason to stop playing!!

Nowadays, I’m more content with staying inside around the heater and using my handy-dandy remote vehicle starter to warm up my car on those cold mornings to minimize my time out in the freezing air. I still enjoy a little frolicking out in the cold from time to time though.

But as I sit here and finish typing this, the fire is slowing dying down, the cup of hot chocolate is now cold, and there’s no one here to snuggle with tonight under the covers. Nothing new. Nothing new.

At least I’m relaxed… right?

Touchy Throttle

So far, I’ve found only one problem with my new car, and it’s just something I’ll have to get used to over time. The throttle is crazy sensitive right off idle. Every time I take off, the car lunges forward since I’m used to a car that requires some muscle to push the accelerator or requires playing with an additional pedal. The Mustang I drove several months back was the same way. I’ve heard this is a trick the domestics use to make the car appear to have more power than it actually does. For me, it just makes driving it a little awkward.

-- -- -- -- --

On to more personal things, I’ve been contemplating a “coming out speech” in my head. It sounds pretty good to me, but I’ll forget every bit of it when – or if – I actually do come out. I could use note cards and make a Powerpoint! ;)

Regardless, the time is coming and coming fast. I can sense it just around the corner, and it quite frankly scares the shit out of me. But, I’ve got to do it. I’ve got to. (Why do I get the feeling I’ve said this before?)

On a different note, I’ve been working out – if you want to call it that – fairly consistently each night. And, I can tell the difference. My weight has taken a sizable drop and began to level off. My arms show a noticeable change, and my back and posture have improved. I’m satisfied with the results thus far, but I still need to join a gym to get a true full body workout.

-- -- -- -- --

I may finally be getting a job. My dad found out about a part-time job watching traffic cameras. Exciting, I know. But, I may have time to do homework while I’m at work. Plus, the pay is around $10 an hour. Damn! I’m all for it. The only problem is fitting work in with my class schedule. They would not be flexible enough to work around my classes; my classes would have to work around them. This is not your typical college student job anyway.

If I snagged that job, I would probably have no problem convincing my parents I need an apartment near campus. Yes, I have a loan for my car now (it’s open and not too terribly much). But with that job and a sharp decrease in my gas bill thanks to a much shorter drive, I think I could afford rent. I may not have electricity or cable, but hey, I could at least pay the rent!

What would make things better is if I had someone to share an apartment (and rent and bills) with. Finding a long-term boyfriend to get an apartment with would be great (split bills plus kicking it anytime, anywhere we want), but that ain’t gonna happen. The idea that keeps resonating in my mind probably isn’t a great idea but would be the one most likely to work. Get an apartment with my brother. He graduates in December, and he’s pretty much got a job not far from campus. Yes, we would clash, but it just may work. He needs to move out of my parents’ house anyway (and so do I).

He would be a little snitch though. Everything I did or said would find its way back to my parents. And, I know I would be cussing all the time. Of course, I’ve got him there. I would be worried about when I go out or who I brought back to the apartment getting back to them. But, he’s got his dirty little secrets too that would come out. I would be willing to keep his, but I don’t know what he would do with mine.

-- -- -- -- --

The end of the semester is only a couple of weeks away. And as it goes so too probably goes the guy in my history class. But, I noticed last class he sat closer to me. He even looked directly at me! Maybe there’s hope after all. Maybe destiny would have me getting an apartment with him. Maybe my dreams would come true. Maybe I would finally be with the guy in my history class. Maybe I would stop all this maybe shit.

The optimist and dreamer in me hopes that would happen, but the realist in me notes I don’t a snowball’s chance in hell of that ever happening. I hate reality! It just sucks.

-- -- -- -- --

Today’s a depressing, overcast, warm, muggy day. It’s not your typical late November day. Lately, it gets cold for a few days then we have a week or longer warm streak. I’m ready for it to just get cold and stay cold. I love cold weather, and we haven’t really had any yet… at least not consistently. It appears my wishes may be fulfilled later this week.

Anyway, I hope you have a great, warm or cold – whichever you prefer – day. I’ll probably have something new (or recycled) Thursday if not tomorrow. See ya then!