Wednesday, January 02, 2008

A Christmas Twist

So ok… I’m back.

But probably only for a little while.

And boy have I had a lot go on since the last time I posted!!

I moved in with the bf in early July though I had basically been there 90% of the time in June. There’s just something sweet about lying in bed with the person you love each night with our arms wrapped around each other. It’s really nice. He’s deemed me the housewife though since I do most of the cleaning and stuff. We’ve had so much fun together!

Christmas time rolls around and I started reminiscing about old Christmases and asking the bf if he was going to put a tree up. No. One day, he decided he needed to go pick up some Christmas stuff to decorate the place where he works (they go all out there for Christmas) and he wanted me to tag along too. So I went with him. He looked at the trees and couldn’t find what he wanted then asked me to help him pick out some ornaments and other little things. We go to check out and I asked him something about where he was going to put all of this where he works. He smiled and said it was for the house. =) We went somewhere else and finally found the right tree.

Christmas brought more surprises than that. On Christmas eve, I went to my parents to have our whole Christmas deal. My brother was there and we ate and opened our gifts. Then, my parents and I went to my grandparents’ house. They were having the entire family there on Christmas day for lunch and my mamaw was begging me to come. However, I had already promised the bf that I was going to spend Christmas day with him. I told my mamaw I wasn’t sure if I was going to come. She saw right through that.

On the evening of Christmas eve, we went out to eat with the bf’s boss and his family. During our little dinner, my cell phone rings. It’s my mom. I answer and she’s crying about how she thought I felt bad because I didn’t get them as much as my brother did (who has a full time, well-paying job while I’m only part-timing it). I had jokingly said something about it earlier. I didn’t care. I swear she takes things too seriously.

Anyway, she stops crying and tells me she really would like it if I would come down the next day for Christmas. I roll my eyes. She knows I’m not coming and she knows why. But she pauses and these are the words I hear – “you know we don’t approve of all of this but if you want to, you can bring [the bf] with you tomorrow.” I nearly went into shock!! Are these the same people who threatened to shot him if I brought him down there?! Can’t be. Just can’t.

I asked her if she was sure it was ok. She said that it was. I left it open at the time as to whether or not we would come, but she knew what was going to happen.

I got off the phone, just looked at the bf and told him he would never believe what just happened. He asked if something was wrong. I simply said “they said you could come tomorrow.” He looked just as shocked as I probably did. Without missing a beat, he said ok and that he’ll go. He later told me he knew something was up just from the look on my face while I was on the phone. He had made plans to cook some stuff the next day but he quickly forgot about all of that. He knew this was what I had been wanting for a long time but had pretty much come to terms with it not happening anytime soon. He was fully supportive of this and even told me that we were going when I said something about maybe not going. I was honestly afraid this would be a huge clash.

We got up bright and early Christmas day and got ready. He asked if I was nervous. I wasn’t near as nervous as I thought I would be. Then we headed out. It was about a 45 minute drive. He was getting a little nervous the closer we got. He wouldn’t admit it but I could tell. We got there and parked. The entire family… well on my dad’s side. I still couldn’t believe it. That’s awfully brave of them to meet the bf for the first time in front of the entire family. Wow! I’m still shocked about it!

We walk down to the little house where my family usually has get-togethers. The blinds are open. I’m sure my parents have had their eyes pilled to the windows to see when we got there and get their first glimpse of him. I get to the door and put my hand on the knob. I’m not nervous. I turn to the bf and ask him if he’s ready. He smiles big and nods his head yes. I sling the door open and everyone’s eyes gravitate toward us. They all know who was walking in. They all know I’m gay by now and I’m sure they all knew my bf was coming with me. I quickly scan the room to find my targets. There’s my mamaw smiling as big as she can and running over to give both of us a hug. I think she even called him by name. My mom is standing just to our right behind the bar. I throw her a huge smile and introduce her to the bf. I bet her heart was pounding out of her chest! They shake hands and she quickly moves away. Next up is my dad. He’s sitting playing dominoes. He looks up at us and I introduce him to the bf. He just about shit his pants! His hand was shaking when he reached out to shake the bf’s hand and his voice was quivering when he spoke. Ouch! Uncomfortable…

I introduce him to a few other people and we sit down at the end of a table where my mom and a few of my aunts and uncles were playing Skip-Bo. As we watched them play and I explain the rules to the bf, more of the family files in. No one asked who the intruder is. They all know who he is and who he’s with. After a while, we eat lunch and my parents keep their distance. As the day progressed and we all pitched in to clean up after lunch, my parents are forced to interact with him a little more. The few in the family that hung around to clean up (the eat-n-runs had already left) migrated up to my grandparents house to gather in their living room. My parents have warmed up to the bf and actually carry on a semi-normal conversation with him!

All said and done, we ended up staying there longer than my parents did. My papaw fell in love with the bf. My mamaw was happy because I came down for Christmas (and I think she was happy to meet the bf too). And we went home with a bag or two (or maybe even three) of frozen catfish. Yep.

I have to give it to my parents for stepping up and surprising the shit out of me for Christmas. I know it took courage on their part to meet him just like it took courage for me to come out to them. They handled it all good I guess. And no explosions! I knew they were uncomfortable around him and just didn’t know what to say. I think they were expecting someone totally different. Someone older looking and more feminine. He’s not that way though. I’m just surprised it even happened! I think there was a small motivating force behind the unexpected invitation though. I’ll leave it up to you to figure out what that force may have been. =)

So Christmas had its own little surprises this year for me! It’ll definitely go down as one of the more memorable Christmases not because it was eventful but because it was monumental. That’s one small step for me, one giant leap for my parents.

But they don’t know the can of worms they just opened up. They’ve met him… now they have no excuses.

In other news, I shocked everyone by getting all As this semester. My parents were eagerly awaiting my grades this semester, hoping they would have gone down so they could hang that over my head about moving out. Sorry. This is the first semester since I started college that I’ve made all As. Ouch.

Damn this has been long! Oh well, I’m getting tired of typing. Who knows when I’ll post something else! Till then! Later.

Wednesday, July 18, 2007

Still Here

Hey everybody! I'm still here!! =) Thanks for all the emails and comments checking on me! Just been busy with life lately and not feeling like blogging when I have a break. A lot has happened over the last month... nothing particularly bad mind you, just a lot. I'm still with the bf! Still love him to death!!! He's at work now (and I finally had a day off to go home - that's a whole 'nother story though), but I've been staying with him almost every night this past month... everyone's been cool with it too... everyone... or at least it seems that way.

But yes, I'm fine and everything seems to be going very good... let's just hope it stays that way! ;)

Thursday, May 31, 2007

Looking In The Rearview Mirror and Peering Into The Crystal Ball

My my, how much my life has changed in the past two months! Yesterday marked the bf and I’s two month anniversary. We did hit our first little bump in the road earlier this week (the deal with my parents has been a crater… the road still runs through it though!), but that’s been resolved and everything’s going great! Stayed the night with him last night and we had an absolute ball!!

Just two short months ago, my world was dull, boring, uneventful, and severely lacking in the love department. I barely even had a reason to get up in the morning. My life consisted of school and that was basically all. I spent most of my time dreaming of the life I wished I had. Now life is spicy!! Even though all the bullshit with my parents has stressed me out (and continues to), it’s been anything but boring and uneventful! It’s actually been a bit fun at times! hehe =) But most importantly, I’m in love!! And that person I’m in love with is the sweetest and greatest guy I think I could ever find! I no longer dream of what could be… I’m living that life I used to dream about and I am so happy!

As for the future, things are being done to pave the way for me to move out of my parents’ house and in with the bf. The surprising part is who’s doing the paving – my parents. You see, I think they’ve finally realized that it will happen eventually no matter what they do, so they proposed something to me – sell my truck, pay off my car loan with the money from the truck, and transfer the car into my name. What would this mean? Well first of all, they couldn’t hold the car over my head any longer or take it away from me if I did move out… legally, it would be all mine. But it would also mean higher insurance. At the same time though, there would no longer be any loan payments, so they sort of offset each other.

So who knows what might happen. I would love to move in with the bf though. Then, we could slow down and be freer to do what we want. As it is now, it feels like we have to cram things into the short time we have together (even though it’s gotten to the point where I’m with him – or at least at his place – about as much as I’m at home) and put off certain things because “you have to go home tomorrow.”

Why haven’t I already moved in with him? He doesn’t want me to that’s why. But wait just a second before you start thinking bad things! There is a reason… and a good reason. He doesn’t want me to move in until things have been smoothed over with my parents. We had a long, heartfelt talk about this last Saturday. That may sound harsh or insensitive to some, but it showed me just how much he loves me and cares about me, my future and our future. I had never really thought of it this way, but he said moving in with him at this point would only be running from the problem, not solving it. That it needs to be dealt with so it doesn’t come up later – most likely even worst than it is now – and cause problems for the both of us. Very true and very good advice. The conversation we had was actually extremely sweet and seem to come straight from his heart. He did say though that if they kicked me out for whatever reason in the meantime I would always have a place with him. The good part of all of this – my parents have made leaps and bounds in just the last few weeks. They’ve stopped trying to break us up… they even admitted for the first time that the bf and I were dating!! =)

Friday, May 25, 2007

Tuesday, May 22, 2007

Tears Of Love

Lately, I’ve become very emotional. I guess that’s what love can do to you. Today, I cried. Totally unlike me. You never see me crying. The last time I remember crying was at my grandmother’s funeral back in October and I can’t even begin to remember the time before that. I’ve just never been one to cry. But that’s clearly changed. I was thinking about the bf and my eyes just started wailing up – they’re doing it now in fact – in a mixture of missing him so much and being so unbelievable happy to have him in my life. This has been happening off and on all day. Last night when we were both lying in bed, I felt a tear run out of the side of my eye. I’m not sure if this was a genuine tear or just my eyes watering from having just taken my contacts out… I don’t know… I was staring into the eyes of the man I love and wasn’t paying attention to anything else. Let’s just call it a real tear – sounds better that way doesn’t it? Besides, since when do my eyes water enough to actually form a tear after taking my contacts out? Yeah, never.

With all that said, I found this poem and thought it was great – simple and elegant… and fitting. Hope you enjoy!


You kissed my lips and I felt a flutter in my heart,
You touched my hand and lit a spark in my body,
You stared into my eyes and saw straight into my soul,
You put your arms around me and I was finally complete.

- Laura Aguiar

Thursday, May 10, 2007

That's A Wrap

The spring semester is over for me. I took my last final today. ='(

Free at last!!

Ha! It's been an interesting semester though. Finally got out into my major's classes instead of just basics. It's looking good too. I'm glad I changed my major.... no more straddling two vastly different directions (physics and marketing).

But who cares what happened with my classes... it's all about who I met during the spring semester!! =)

Thursday, May 03, 2007

Quick Notes

- Last Sunday marked one month since I met my baby! We weren’t able to be together but we talked a lot on the phone... definitely not as good as being there with him but better than nothing. I’ve had so much fun with him over the past month... just being around him or hearing his voice brightens my day. Yes, I think I’ve fallen in love!! It kills me that we can’t be together as much as we want, but right now it’s just not possible due to so many things… that problem may be solved later this month though and it can’t be solved soon enough!!

- The parents are slowly making progress. They’ve gotten to the point where I can go visit the bf without having to make up some elaborate plan. My dad actually seems to be further along than my mom. I get a lecture from her every time I go, but my dad just wants to know when I’ll be home and that’s usually it. Both seem to have taken a sort of I-don’t-care-anymore attitude with me which – to be completely honest – doesn’t bother me in the least bit. Hopefully, I will be able to move in with the bf this month… and they’ll be left all alone after having a full house for over 20 years. What will they do?

Yes, all of this has driven a wedge in our relationship. All of the bullshit they’ve dumped on me and continue to do so (albeit in smaller amounts now) has done nothing but push me farther away and actually cause me to despise them at times. There’s still bucket loads of tension among us especially since my brother has completely moved out and I’m the only other human interaction available around the house most of the time. ‘It’ is never talked about until I go visit my baby and is never discussed after I get back home either. Oh well.

- Today was my last day of class!! Finals are next week. Another semester down! I’m almost half way through now and I’m finally starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel… it sho as hell lookin’ good too!

- And finally – when you’re out driving, be sure to look out for motorcycles too!