Touchy Throttle

So far, I’ve found only one problem with my new car, and it’s just something I’ll have to get used to over time. The throttle is crazy sensitive right off idle. Every time I take off, the car lunges forward since I’m used to a car that requires some muscle to push the accelerator or requires playing with an additional pedal. The Mustang I drove several months back was the same way. I’ve heard this is a trick the domestics use to make the car appear to have more power than it actually does. For me, it just makes driving it a little awkward.

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On to more personal things, I’ve been contemplating a “coming out speech” in my head. It sounds pretty good to me, but I’ll forget every bit of it when – or if – I actually do come out. I could use note cards and make a Powerpoint! ;)

Regardless, the time is coming and coming fast. I can sense it just around the corner, and it quite frankly scares the shit out of me. But, I’ve got to do it. I’ve got to. (Why do I get the feeling I’ve said this before?)

On a different note, I’ve been working out – if you want to call it that – fairly consistently each night. And, I can tell the difference. My weight has taken a sizable drop and began to level off. My arms show a noticeable change, and my back and posture have improved. I’m satisfied with the results thus far, but I still need to join a gym to get a true full body workout.

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I may finally be getting a job. My dad found out about a part-time job watching traffic cameras. Exciting, I know. But, I may have time to do homework while I’m at work. Plus, the pay is around $10 an hour. Damn! I’m all for it. The only problem is fitting work in with my class schedule. They would not be flexible enough to work around my classes; my classes would have to work around them. This is not your typical college student job anyway.

If I snagged that job, I would probably have no problem convincing my parents I need an apartment near campus. Yes, I have a loan for my car now (it’s open and not too terribly much). But with that job and a sharp decrease in my gas bill thanks to a much shorter drive, I think I could afford rent. I may not have electricity or cable, but hey, I could at least pay the rent!

What would make things better is if I had someone to share an apartment (and rent and bills) with. Finding a long-term boyfriend to get an apartment with would be great (split bills plus kicking it anytime, anywhere we want), but that ain’t gonna happen. The idea that keeps resonating in my mind probably isn’t a great idea but would be the one most likely to work. Get an apartment with my brother. He graduates in December, and he’s pretty much got a job not far from campus. Yes, we would clash, but it just may work. He needs to move out of my parents’ house anyway (and so do I).

He would be a little snitch though. Everything I did or said would find its way back to my parents. And, I know I would be cussing all the time. Of course, I’ve got him there. I would be worried about when I go out or who I brought back to the apartment getting back to them. But, he’s got his dirty little secrets too that would come out. I would be willing to keep his, but I don’t know what he would do with mine.

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The end of the semester is only a couple of weeks away. And as it goes so too probably goes the guy in my history class. But, I noticed last class he sat closer to me. He even looked directly at me! Maybe there’s hope after all. Maybe destiny would have me getting an apartment with him. Maybe my dreams would come true. Maybe I would finally be with the guy in my history class. Maybe I would stop all this maybe shit.

The optimist and dreamer in me hopes that would happen, but the realist in me notes I don’t a snowball’s chance in hell of that ever happening. I hate reality! It just sucks.

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Today’s a depressing, overcast, warm, muggy day. It’s not your typical late November day. Lately, it gets cold for a few days then we have a week or longer warm streak. I’m ready for it to just get cold and stay cold. I love cold weather, and we haven’t really had any yet… at least not consistently. It appears my wishes may be fulfilled later this week.

Anyway, I hope you have a great, warm or cold – whichever you prefer – day. I’ll probably have something new (or recycled) Thursday if not tomorrow. See ya then!